The Twilight Side of the Hill
by A Voice on the Wind
Summary: Remus Lupin did not believe in fate, and he had given up on the idea of soul mates long ago. So why did the name curling across his wrist make his heart jump in his chest? AU Based off of ExquisiteRose story 'Wilting Roses' RL/SB Slash
1. Prologue

** I'm going to tell everyone now. Yes, this plot belongs to someone else. However, this someone hasn't updated in over a year and I not only felt that unfair to those who read and reviewed this story, but also the idea itself. This plot was ripe with little twists, and absolutely infested with bunnies. So, I'm taking it over. Now, normally I would tell anyone who has a problem with this to fuck off. Just because it's there doesn't mean you're forced to read it. And I would be pleased to continue informing people of their constitutional rights, if it weren't for the fact that I understand where some of you will be coming from. I hate the idea of stealing someone else's story. Not only is it unoriginal, immature, and completely against everything I stand for, but it could also get me in trouble with the site. So, in the hopes that I can appease my conscience, my possible readers, and keep my happy place, I'm going to do everything I can to make this fair. I will be posting Disclaimers before each chapter letting everyone know what belongs to who. And on the off chance that the author wakes up and takes interest in their story again I will happily take my version down without fuss. I am however doing a complete redo of the original, just to keep things interesting and, again, to help with that little voice that sounds like my grandmother griping me out in my head. Meaning that while the general aspects of the plot belong to someone else the details and fleshing out will, for the most part, be mine. **

**Now that I'm done with that shit, here comes the fun part. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, the world, or any associated characters. Nor do I own the rights to the fanfic '**_**Wilting Roses'**_** by; ExquisiteRose. **

**Warning: This story contains the following; Abuse, Slash, Mentions of Suicide, and many other unsavory aspects of humanity. **

**Prologue**

Remus Lupin was a good boy.

His mother said so. Every morning after the moon rose full and high, bright like the silver sickles he wasn't to ever touch, he found himself curled into his mother's arms as she gently stroked his hair and whispered that he was '_her good boy_', and that she _loved_ him with all her heart. This stuck with the little boy more perhaps than if she had said it every day, because once a month when he was hurting his mother would ignore his father's orders to stay away from _that thing_, and she would cuddle him and take care of him like he guessed she might have _before_.

Yes. Remus was a _good boy_.

So why then did he find himself staring at the pale, smooth, unblemished expanse of skin on his wrist the morning of his tenth birthday?

There he sat, tawny hair ruffled from sleep and bedclothes still wrapped around his ankles, as his brow furrowed and he twisted his hand every which way trying to find the slightest trace of…

Well.

Little shoulders squared themselves.

He would wait. Remus had gotten quite good at this. Waiting for his father's fist, for the swift poison sting of silver. The red face and snarl of outrage at being disobeyed that came before that. And waiting for his mother's touch in the early hours of dawn, when the light is so blue that it casts its tint on everything it touches. And the hours, days, weeks, before any of that, when he would wait for the moon to grow full again. Yes, Remus was quite good at waiting.

Later that day when eating his breakfast he would tell his mother, who had gone quite silent at the sight of his blank wrist, just that. He would pretend that he didn't see the water gathering in her eyes. That he couldn't hear his father's, who seemed completely unsurprised, snort of derision. He would also pretend that when cleaning up the dishes that he couldn't hear the fight that followed or the hard smack when his mother tried to insist on something.

He wouldn't be able to pretend that night though, when his father came and beat him senseless. Couldn't' pretend he didn't hear the words, or smell the burned flesh and taste the tang of blood. His blood. Hearing how he couldn't possibly have a soul mate. Not like he was.

A _freak_. Half-breed. Abomination. _Monster_.

No. Remus Lupin might be a good werewolf.

But he would never be a good boy.

**Review. Let me know if you think this is worth the shit storm I'm starting. **


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

Breath wheezing out of his too small frame, Remus continued to try and push his trunk into the storage compartment below the seat. The full moon a few days earlier had been especially hard, as the wolf had felt his rising anxiety over starting school, and as such, had left Remus feeling weaker than ever.

"HI!" His jump of surprise was enough to jolt the heavy wooden frame into place and, unprepared, sent him crashing, nose first, into the seat. Blinking rapidly he looked up to see a messy haired boy about his age.

"Sorry, mate!" The boy said, one hand ruffling his hair even as his other reached out to help Remus up. "My name's James. James Potter." He continued. Remus was surprised when instead of letting go as soon as he had his feet James had then shook his hand.

Still reeling from the blow to the nose and the abrupt shifting of the world, all Remus could do was blink.

Smiling the other boy swiftly dragged his own trunk into the compartment and stored it, before throwing himself across the opposite seat messily. "You don't mind, do you?" He asked, ruffling his hair again.

Remus shook his head, whether in reply or in an effort to understand what had just happened he wasn't quite sure. But the other boy, James he had said, seemed to take it as his acceptance and relaxed further into the seat.

"Do you know what house you're going to be in? My whole family has been in Gryffindor for generations, so I expect that'll be it for me."

Sitting down Remus shook his head in a decidedly shy manner. James seemed to have moved on without bothering to listen to Remus' response.

"Say, you wouldn't happen to know who Lily Evens is would you?" He must have taken Remus' scrunched eyebrows as a negative because he sighed heavily and slumped down further in his seat.

'_I wonder how he's still on the seat at all. Maybe they have mild sticking charms?' _

Remus looked up suddenly as he realized that James was once again speaking.

"Sorry?" He asked when he found James hazel eyes locked on him.

"I asked whether yours is at Hogwarts or not." He repeated, not at all offended.

Remus could feel his eyebrows scrunching again. "My what?"

Remus ducked in reflex before he realized that James had merely flung his arms wide dramatically, and hadn't actually lashed out at him. "-only your soulmate. I mean the only reason I'm not in the same compartment as mine is because we haven't been able to _find_ her!" Remus heart sank in his chest as he realized just where the conversation had gone. He had hoped that maybe he could have some time before being labeled 'the freak'. Thinking that maybe he would gain a friend or two before being outcast. James had yet to realize that his new friend didn't share in his excitement, and had continued on in his fast-paced way. Remus gave slight consideration to the fact that his new friend was quite possibly what muggles called ADD. _Friends? He won't want that after he finds out how much of a freak you are._ "We assume she's a muggle born, which will be great fun! I can't wait to show her everything there is to know about our world!" His eyes were shining with excitement and you could almost feel the energy coming off him, it was practically making Remus itch. "So?" He asked.

"So what?" Remus forced out in a rather subdued manner.

James head cocked to the side and the excited gleam faded a bit as his eyes narrowed in confusion. "Is your soulmate at Hogwarts?"

It felt like a stab to the heart; that question. Remus tried to clear the tight knot from his throat, and idly wondered if there was a cat close by to explain the sting at the corners of his eyes. He opened his mouth to try again, and forced the words out. "Don't know."

When he saw that James planned to continue with his line of questioning Remus simply raised both wrists, palm up, towards James.

"Oh." It was startling how quiet the otherwise loud and rambunctious boy got. Remus had turned his face towards the window but from his periphery he could see the furrow at James' brow and the opening and closing of his mouth as he tried to find the right thing to say.

The train began to pull out of the station. Remus looked out the window to see families lining up, waving goodbye to their children. The knife that had taken up permanent residence in his heart twisted when he remembered he didn't have anyone waving to him out there.

When the train began passing rolling hills and countryside Remus was brought back from his thoughts by a hand landing softly on his shoulder. Too surprised to flinch, he turned with his brow lifted in amazement, to see James Potter sitting in the exact same place as before. Remus' heart started to calm and the tight knot of emotion eased, as he realized the boy was still there and didn't plan on moving. That James seemed to be trying to- to _comfort_ him.

"It's okay." Remus replied in a soft, gentle voice he assumed one might use to stop a panicking friend. It wasn't James fault that hearing about it made his heart ache, and his stomach twist into a million painful knots. That his throat clenched so tight he sometimes thought he wouldn't ever be able to speak again, that he didn't _want_ to speak again. Until he remembered that eventually he would have a mate to talk to. And how could he have pleasant conversation if he didn't practice? Sometimes Remus thought that the universe was just waiting to tell him. Waiting till he proved that he could be a good boy, a good mate. Remus found he quite liked that idea. He didn't want to know who he was destined for until he could handle it. Even though it was painful, and he was lonely, (Oh, so lonely,) he never wanted to hurt his mate. Remus refused to be like _him_. His father.

Remus Lupin could wait for his soulmate, so long as his soulmate could wait for him.

* * *

><p>In spite of the earlier tension Remus and James were now getting along splendidly. James had quickly begun to list off all the pranks he had dreamed up, while Remus would comment on how hard it would be to accomplish, and if he thought it was realistic. He surprised himself when he had the nerve to tell James that his idea to have a staircase trip all the Slytherins on their way down was just plain cruel. James had just laughed it off, and said that his mother would be glad he had friend trying to keep him out of trouble.<p>

They were just going over when it would be morally acceptable to prank only Slytherins when an elderly woman poked her head in. "Would you like anything dears?" James head immediately popped up and he all but ran outside the compartment. Remus calmly followed, curious to see what made his new friend so excited. Peaking around the door he saw a small group of students surrounding a cart stuffed with treats. James was rattling off a series of names Remus had heard of but never been allowed to try before, when a girl stumbled into him. After he managed to get his feet under him Remus looked up into a pair of big brown eyes. The girl managed to giggle out something that sounded like 'Hi' and held her hand out in front of her. Remus could only wonder what was wrong with her as they shook hands. She kept looking over her shoulder to a group of her friends before she would giggle and look back at him. The strangest part was that even though they had shook hands, the girl hadn't mentioned her name. As if she had heard his thoughts she suddenly looked at him and blurted out "Marlene McKinnon!" And then it was almost as if she stopped breathing all together. Then she just sat there, staring at him.

He was about to answer when a loud snort came from over his shoulder. Jumping slightly, Remus turned to see that Marlene had somehow managed to lure him out of the safety of the compartment and into the cramped hallway. He was startled to see that they were currently the center of attention. He guessed that the snort had come from an older girl in the back when she started speaking a second later. "So romantic! Really." Remus' eyes narrowed at her sarcastic tone, even though Marlene didn't seem to quite pick up on it. "You see a cute boy from afar." She continued in a dreamy voice one would use when telling a fairytale. "You trip and fall into his arms, purely by chance, only to find out that he's your true love. Really, it's almost poetic!" The girl looked to be about two years older than them, with shoulder length straight black hair and large hazel eyes. Even if Marlene hadn't picked up on the sarcasm, the fire coming from the girls eyes left no doubt that they were being mocked. But that wasn't what made Remus' head rear back and eyes fly wide open. He felt his heart stutter painfully as he realized what was happening. Why Marlene was acting so strangely. If his face hadn't already been flushed by this point, it would have at her next words. "Well?" She asked. "Go on. We're all waiting to see if the two of you are just 'Meant to Be'." She fluttered her lashes and put on a mocking pout.

Remus opened his mouth, not quite sure what he was going to say. When a familiar voice cut him off. "Oi! Sod off, why don't you!" James called at the same time as a red headed girl, who was also in their year, yelled, "Leave them alone!" James hazel eyes had grown large behind his glasses when he turned to see Remus' defender. The girl seemed to have an instant dislike for James as her head had reared back, before she stormed off with a grimace on her face and a boy with long black hair alongside her. Pushing that to the back of his mind Remus turned back in time to see yet another student push their way to the front of the group, this one looking to be several years older. The light catching on a little silver badge pinned to his robes.

"Hestia." He said, once he reached the group. The black haired girl rolled her eyes and leaned back against the wall. It was obvious that the two had been through this many times. Before he could even utter another word the girl named Hestia pretended to zip her lips, and began to strut away. A few people breaking off from the crowd to follow after her.

"Alright! Enough. If you're not buying something then get back to your seats!" The boy with the badge called. As everyone slowly made their way back to their compartments he turned to Remus and patted his shoulder encouragingly. "Don't mind Hestia. She has a flair for dramatics and a compulsive need to share with others. Whether she's sharing her opinions, or a earwax flavored Bertie Botts doesn't seem to make a difference. If she gives you anymore trouble just come find me. Name's Arthur Weasley, I'm Gryffindor's prefect." He said with a soft smile before heading back the way he came. Remus assumed someone must have run to get him when the trouble started.

"Well that was-" James was interrupted by a feminine cough. James perked up like a puppy and spun around, only for his shoulders to droop in disappointment. "Meet you back at our seats." He muttered, as he picked up the armful of candy he bought and left.

Remus turned to see Marlene, still standing there, staring at him with excitement in her eyes. He felt his stomach drop like a rock.

"I-" He stopped. _You're not mine, and I'm not yours. How could you not know? _He had known immediately that she wasn't the one for him, not because he didn't have her name on his wrist, but because it was just something you would recognize, deep down. Remus had always worked under the assumption that everyone had been given a soulmate since the beginning of time. The Ministry's spell merely gave you a name, so you could be together that much sooner. It was a bit of a blow for him to realize that, for some reason, Marlene thought he might be hers. He took a breath and tried to answer politely. "I'm Remus Lupin, pleased to meet you Marlene." Forcing a smile onto his face.

The lights in her eyes dimmed and she didn't even bother to say bye before she turned and stomped away. He was still confused on how she could have ever thought he was meant for her. Maybe he had been wrong to think that everyone would just innately _know_. Remus frowned. In a corner of his mind he quietly admitted that her response stung a bit. Even if they weren't meant to be together, that didn't mean they couldn't be friends. As he turned to go and join James, now inexplicably confused and depressed, he could hear the trolley lady speaking under her breath as she packed up, "Never used to be like this. You found love in your own time and own way… Never this much bitterness…. Had to work to love and be loved… Pray Voldemort can fix this mess."

He closed the compartment door on the rest of her mutterings, and turned to find James slumped in his seat, candies forgotten, with a dazed look on his face. At the click of the lock he looked up and Remus felt his heart shudder in his chest as he was faced with a disappointed look for the second time in the last five minutes. He forced himself to sit down across from James anyway, and was pleased when his friend perked up almost immediately. "It was her!" He practically screamed. Remus blinked in confusion, thinking maybe he had missed something, when James spoke up again. "The redhead! It was her, my girl! Lily!" He was practically jumping on his seat now, with an idiotic smile plastered across his face. _He bounced back fast, _He thought, _or he's just bipolar…_

"Really?" He asked. He hadn't heard her introduce herself, but then again a lot was happening at the time. If this was true, he couldn't help but wonder why she wasn't with James in their compartment right now.

"Well, who else could she be? She was perfect!"

At this Remus' felt his eyebrows raise, suspicions starting to form. "James." He said, "She never introduced herself, did she?"

"No need." James said with perfect confidence. "When you meet 'the one' for the first time, you just…._know_. You know?"

James seemed to realize exactly what he just said and opened his mouth to apologize. _Or stick his other foot in there trying. _

But Remus just smiled at him and nodded, an odd sparkle coming into his eye. "Yeah. I know." He answered, feeling far better than he had a minute before.

**AN: Thanks for reading guys. Just a few things before I'm done. I wanted to let you know that I started with a plot that wasn't my own. One that I wanted to continue, maybe expand on. Well now I'm taking this story in a completely different direction, the only similarities between mine and the original will be the basis of soulmates being marked across your wrist. I've taken this time to really lay out the ground work, plot points, and everything in between. At first I was aiming for fifteen, possibly twenty chapters. I've come to realize that I'm an idiot that likes run before I walk. If I want to stick with that then this whole thing is going to end up as a series, and I'm going to be forced to change several of the story settings. Or, I could just make this fucker really really long. Haven't decided yet, but I'm leaning towards series. (In spite of the fact that it will be a pain in the ass.) But the fact is, I'm putting emphasis on choice vs. fate here, and it's gonna get damn complicated. It's my first story that I'm **_**really**_** working on so it's probably going to be a bit predictable. But I'm not putting my efforts into bringing in a crap ton of plot twists out of nowhere, I'm focusing on the battle between making your life and leaving it up to fate. I want to do this justice, I really do, so just please bear with me here. **

**I'm also warning you now. You're not going to like me for a really long time. Remus goes through a lot and Sirius won't even be introduced into the story for a long time, long enough that if it does become a series you won't see him until the last chapter of the first instalment. (There's a reason for that too!) But personally, I think it'll be worth it. **

**So, I'm done now. I've given you all full disclosure, and I reserve the right to ream your ass if you flame about it later. **


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